Nothing to see here

(ex)Boyfriend has changed. No drugs for 6 months or so, clean living, exercising, working (reliably, in a job that he likes and that likes him). He’s losing weight and jogging regularly, barely sees his dodgy mates. If I met him now, without all the history, I don’t doubt we’d be giving it a red hot go and have a chance at happiness.

 

Which is why I’ve decided to give it another go. Yes I know some of you think I’m a boofhead for it, and we will be taking it very slowly (and even a little bit secretly) but you know what? It’s a chance at happiness under much better circumstances than before. Just quietly, I’m terrified and excited all at the same time, but I’m certain that its going to be ok. And if its n0t, then that’s ok too. And if it all goes horribly wrong I get to blame Selina, because she said I could.

 

Wish me luck. LJxx

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Online dating #3

Folks, meet Mitchell. Mitch is 27, works in a vaguely police related role, and has a gorgeous 6 year old daughter we shall call Valentina. He’s been single 4 or 5 months after a long engagement, he left his partner because she was cheating on him and he finally grew a spine. There’s hours and hours of chatting on mutual night shifts, instant cyber chemistry, and finally, finally LJ seems to have found a suitable manfellow in the jungle that is online dating.

 

Due to work schedules and the respective offspring, its nearly 2 weeks before Mitch and LJ are able to meet for lunch. In the meanwhile, there’s facebook friending and flirting, cheeky sms sending, and daily chatting. Then, the night before the lunch that has taken forever to arrive, LJ and Mitchell are having a quick chat. She makes a comment about whether there are going to be any major surprises tomorrow – a wheelchair, a missing eyeball, a burgundy facial fungus. He goes silent. He starts typing, then stops. Then starts. She gets that sinking feeling. Finally the message pops up. He’s sorry he didn’t tell me earlier, but he didn’t want to scare her off. He’s got a funky mouth infection condition requiring regular removal of teeth and eventually an upper denture. He completely understands if she wants to cancel tomorrow’s date, but he has that please-don’t-break-my-heart air about him. She I immediately start to say that no, its fine, date is on, I’m sure its not that bad. But then I stop. I need, want and deserve an entire, normal, no major issues type man. Surely, if I learned anything from (ex)Boyfriend, it is that its not my job to fix men. To go on sympathy dates and see if I can make do with what’s available. So I took a deep breath, put on my superhero knickers and agreed that yes, I probably would have to cancel the date. Oh man, I am a terrible person.

 

Anyone who knows me well, knows my aversion to anything related to the mouth. Saliva has me curling my toes, sputum has me gagging and when patients ask me to clean their dentures, I’m not ashamed to say I double glove and run them under water. With my eyes shut. Those who know me really really well know that I love a good pash. A man with an infection type disease of the mouth? I’d really really struggle.

 

In other news, I put on 1kg this week, and sat for the afternoon with my unwell Grandma in the hospital. This particular blogger needs to put herself to bed where Lovechild is curled up and waiting for snuggles.

 

ETA: I feel like I should do a separate blog on the weight gain, but I’ll stick it in here instead. Didn’t track at all, realised how badly I was doing by about the third day of the WW week (I’ll start tomorrow, honest) and then gave up. I did heaps of exercise – both incidental and …whatever the opposite of incidental is. Purposeful? The type where you front up at the gym and do whatever the sweaty person at the front of the room tells you to do, anyway. No luck, gained a kg, I’ll be more awesome this week, promise. There’s a wager on it with my favourite fatmamma. (I still can’t cope with calling you that.)

Balance.

I thought I’d get this post in before Wednesday night’s weigh in.

I’ve been bad this week. Naughty. Ate bad things, and drank lots of black russians. The more I drank, the less insistent I got that they were made with diet coke.

On the other hand, its been a very active week. 2.5 big days in the garden. A night of (black russian fuelled) dancing. Tonight’s monster session at the gym (spin and pump double again.)

 

So, cast your bets. Win or fail this week?

Win #2

Epic win in fact. My saintliness paid off, big time. 2.3kg this week at WW. Tracking everything and making good choices did it, plus the extra exercise.

Hope I can keep it going 🙂

Online Dating Rant

On the dating website I use, there are a stock standard list of ‘rejection’ responses you can give:
-Sorry but i don’t think you’re my type.
-Please add more information to your profile.
-We don’t share the same interests.
-I am too busy right now.

I’d like to add my own suggestions to the list.
-Sorry, but your piercings would give my Mum a stroke.
-How do you know “I’m really hot.” I haven’t given you access to my photos.
-Sorry, but travelling to Malaysia to date you would really mess up my weekends.
-Sorry, but you’re married.
-There’s a thing called punctuation.
-Sorry, but you’re 5 foot nothing.
-Please actually read my profile, do I sound like the type of girl who wants to go clubbing all the time?
-Unfortunately, you have the body of a god, and I could never be naked in front of you.

Also, some tips for men doing internet dating.
-When choosing photos, try not to pick the one of you and 8 mates all crammed into a tiny pic. I’ll either assume you are the hottest one then be disappointed, or assume you’re the ugliest one and not accept your request.

-A conversation consists of chatter, questions back and forth, some jokes, and a reasonable level of interest from both parties. When I have to ask you 8 questions in a row, to one word answers, it becomes an interrogation. I’m not interested.

-Don’t tell me you need my mobile number to send me a pic, then send me 18 UNANSWERED text messages in a row, over the course of a couple of weeks. Really? Take a hint dude.

-Don’t trash talk your ex. Especially if she is your child’s other parent.

-Similarly, starting your profile paragraph with a statement like ALL YOU STUCK UP COWS WHO PLAY MIND GAMES AND CHEAT AND LIE CAN GO TO HELL, I’VE BEEN BURNT BEFORE AND I WONT LET IT HAPPEN AGAIN, SO IF YOU AREN’T HONEST PLEASE LOOK SOMEWHERE ELSE AND THANKS FOR STOPPING BY. It happens more than you’d imagine.

-Did I mention punctuation? Pls dont rite a paragraf dat looks lyk dis cos it just makes u look lyk an uneducated dumbass who doesnt no how 2 spell or rite a propa sentnce its reely not sexi 2 cum across as sum1 who doesnt giv a toss bout there gramma smart brainz r hot brainz doncha no

-After a few minutes of nice, charming, funny conversation, please don’t spoil it by referencing your willy, masturbation, sex, blow jobs, “a bit of after dinner exercise” or boobies. Even punctuation and grammar won’t save you here. You were doing so well, too.

Wow, doesn’t all that make me sound nasty? I just feel that a dating website is almost like an advertisement of the self. I don’t understand why you would put that image of yourself forward? Its common sense, people. Happy dating, LJ xx

Fail.

+100g this week. FUCK. I got cocky with the fact that it felt like there were so many points and I didn’t get close to using them last week, so this week I took it easy. Relaxed about tracking and making good choices. I feel like crying, I’m disappointed and embarassed.

This weeks topic in the meeting was exercise. I’ve just booked the creche for tomorrow evening at the gym – Spin followed by Pump. I am in control here, its my choices that least to wins or fails on the scales so its time to start making good ones.

Ever so tempted to go and eat badly now because I feel so sorry for myself tonight, but tonight is part of the coming week, so I’ll behave. Might have to have a bath with a book, or a good old early night. I’m feeling lonely on top of what happened tonight, I miss (ex)Boyfriend, or maybe I miss just having someone on nights like these.

Oh lordy listen to me whinge. Time to go or I’ll ruin my chirpy reputation. LJ xx

Win.

Had first Weight Watchers weigh in last night – I’m down 1.8kg this week. Very happy with that result, and I can see WW being a long term lifestyle thing – its so easy! Omg, I sound like an advert.

Back later with more. LJxx

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