Single.

For the last couple of weeks, I have been unhappy with Boyfriend. Previously, all the crap that was happening was truly sucky, but it was always balanced out by the spark and connection that we had. Lately, we’ve lost that spark and the bad was outweighing the good. I was getting tense and defensive, and tonight we sat down and had ‘that’ talk.

 

It ended on reasonably nice terms, as calm as can be expected. I really loved love loved him (I could keep infinitely crossing them out) but realistically it wasn’t going to work. I am ready to look at settling down, buying a house, having dozens more babies, he was looking at deciding what he wanted to do for a career. I want at least a few more kids, he was thinking maybe one, two more tops. He is racist, anti immigration, I’m a bleeding heart. I’m a control freak, he hated being accountable. Polar opposites held together by a spark that was fading.

 

I’m really feeling like this was the right call to make. I’m optimistic about finding someone really special, and just right. Boyfriend gave me so much – he made me into a much more confident person and taught me so much about myself, good and bad. I don’t regret a moment of it. Lovechild gave me a huge cuddle when I told her Boyfriend was just going to be a good friend to us now instead of having sleepovers. She gave me 10c (a high honour from a 4 year old carrying two 10c coins) and politely enquired as to how this would delay her plans for a brother and sister. Yep, even my kindy aged daughter can hear my biological clock ticking.

 

So, I’m feeling liberated, optimistic, excited. Can someone tell me why my eyes keep welling up?

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Jayne
    Sep 14, 2011 @ 20:37:50

    Aw 😦 Much as it sounds like the relationship had run it’s course, it’s still sad when it ends 😦 *hugs* I hope you are ok?
    I coudnt handle the racist thing. In fact, I had a very short lived relationship with someone last year and ended it for that very reason (among other issues). Oh, that mad had MANY Ishews!!

    Reply

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