Refresh

Life’s pretty sweet atm.

 

A couple of weeks ago, it was bad. Boyfriend fucked up, big time, and had been lying to me. More than the fucking up, I hated the lying. I felt a fool because I didn’t see it happening, at all. I was having a rough time with a couple of friends, and it was all getting on top of me.

 

We put everything on hold and went for a much needed getaway. We pretty literally said “lets get outa here” and jumped in the car the very next morning, out to a family property that is cut off from power, running water, even sealed roads. We blew a tyre, got horrendously lost, got locked out, bogged and soaked. We froze our substantial tushes off. But it was exactly what we needed. The solitude, the enforced deep and meaningful conversations, the simplicity and adventure, was just what we needed both individually, and as a couple. We’ve come home refreshed. Grubby, stinky, with mountains of laundry, but with refreshed souls.

 

One of the big issues we are having is Boyfriend’s problem with social anxiety. He just can’t cope, and shuts down. I’ve explained to him that its one thing for us to have this lovely happy relationship when we are safely at home, but the minute we go out, it goes pear shaped. He’s not doing it on purpose but I’m a very social person and love my friends, and my friendship with some of them has struggled, more than it should have, because of it. Cue a very gorgeous friend’s birthday dinner last night (she’s 25. Quarter of a century. Ancient, right?). It involved a few couples, some of which I’m very close to, some of which I’ve barely met. I was excited, a change for Boyfriend to find his social feet because he wouldn’t be going into a room of people who know each other well. We might or might not have had a quick drink before we left home, and off we went. He was shy, but he did really well. I think it really helped me feel better about us that he was able to cope in a room full of people, at a dinner party. Its such a cliche ‘couply’ thing to do, and I really enjoyed it. Not perfect, but I’m not asking for perfect.

 

So today is Sunday. We got an extra hours sleep in. I woke up with a bit of a hangover (its been a while!). Boyfriend went to hang with the boys while I had some me time and did a bit of the previously mentioned laundry. Then he came back. we all napped, and are now watching the footy before heading out for a quick dinner. Tomorrow we are going to tackle the garden. Right now, in this moment, I’m content and happy. My trust in him took a huge blow, but we are slowly rebuilding and I’m starting to feel that feeling of safety creep back, and I’ve stopped fighting it. This is how Sundays should be.

 

Hope you’re all having a great weekend. LJ xx

 

PS: I’ve had some wonderful support from the Serial Killers in the last couple of weeks – I love every one of you guys for your own different approaches and what you bring to the cyber-table. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart xx

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