Something that normally goes hand in hand with depression but that I’ve managed to mostly avoid this far, is anxiety. The last few days though, it seems to have been niggling at me, and today its hit me like a tonne of bricks. I’m trying to work out if its legit anxiety, or if its my crazy brain acting up.

I’m flucked, financially, at the moment. That is niggling away at me.

I’ve lost a book that I need, I’m sure its somewhere, and I will find it, but for now it gives me goosebumps and a sick feeling in the pit of my tummy to think about.

I’m in a relationship that’s not really right for me, and I know I’ll have to end it eventually, but it makes me sad. I’m confident now that I will find someone soon, if not to marry then to have more experiences with, but still, I’ll miss him. And his family are awesome, I’ll miss them too. Possibly more so? Gosh, I am being a terrible person in regards to Boyfriend, this isn’t like me at all, and it doesn’t bother me nearly as much as it probably should.

I have some bills building up, including my car rego, which means I’m uninsured atm. Need to make that one a priority I think.

So it sounds like its legitimate, warranted anxiety, right? But it feels like more than that. I can’t explain it, it just feels like my coping mechanisms have gone AWOL. I’m a bit emotionally unavailable right now, which is unlike me because I’m normally an emotional floozy. I have a few friends who I suspect need a bit of LJ TLC atm but I just don’t have it in me. Sorry guys. I’m making sure I don’t close myself away like I’d like to, and getting lots of exercise, because I suspect I need the endorphines.






Disclaimer: Please no one offer to lend me money. That’s not what this blog was about and it wouldn’t help. We are fine, there is a roof over our heads and food in the fridge. I just haven’t got the financial buffer I’d normally like to have.


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Dizzy
    Mar 24, 2011 @ 18:06:54

    Hey. LJ,

    Thinking of you dearly. You are an awesome lady, mum and friend and you need to make sure you look after yourself. Warranted or not, anxiety is not good for you and can leave you drained, unattached to the world and oblivious to things you would normally see and feel. A very wise Serial Killer recently mentioned , “if it doesn’t feel right, then listen, and heed your inner self”.
    Much love, courage and strength.

    P.S Excellent news on the weight loss and body toning. Well Done! I am so very proud of you.


  2. Melissa
    Mar 31, 2011 @ 20:25:40

    I know how you feel. Even when there are extra worries, I feel like my coping mechanisms have gone AWOL. It seems that it takes nothing to bring on that sick feeling.

    From one anxiety sufferer to another – thinking of you.


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